💖The Language of Appreciation That Actually Lands
I coach a business owner who truly cares about his team.
He’s the first to jump in when someone’s overwhelmed — covering shifts, fixing problems, staying late to make sure things run smoothly.
But here’s the twist: his team didn’t feel appreciated.
When I asked how often he says “thank you,” he laughed and said,
“I don’t have to — they see how hard I work for them.”
That’s when it hit me.
He was speaking Acts of Service, but his team was listening for Words of Affirmation.
Same intent. Different translation.
Why It Matters
Appreciation isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Most leaders naturally show appreciation in the way they like to receive it — and that’s where the disconnect happens.
When people don’t feel seen in their own “language,” even good intentions fall flat.
Gary Chapman and Paul White, the authors of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, describe five ways people feel valued:
Words of Affirmation – Verbal or written encouragement.
Quality Time – Focused attention or conversation.
Acts of Service – Helping lighten someone’s load.
Tangible Gifts – Small, thoughtful tokens.
Physical Touch – Appropriate contact like a handshake or high-five.
Knowing your team members’ primary language changes everything. It helps you lead with empathy and impact — not just effort.
How to Start Today
Notice what people respond to. Do they light up when you compliment them, when you sit down to listen, or when you help finish a project?
Ask directly. “What makes you feel most appreciated around here?”
Be intentional. Try one small act this week in someone else’s language.
The Takeaway
Appreciation doesn’t require a budget — just awareness.
When you learn to speak the language that lands, your leadership voice gets clearer, your team’s engagement deepens, and your culture becomes contagious.
Start Speaking Appreciation That Lands
If you’d like a free copy of the Languages of Appreciation Quiz for your team, reach out — I’ll send it your way.